When I first became pregnant I thought for sure that I was having a boy. I swore up and down that I was carrying a boy. I had always dreamed that when I had a baby it would be a boy. My family even thought I would have a boy.
When I found out I was having a girl, I cried. I didn't want a girl. I told myself for weeks that the ultrasound tech was wrong and that I was having a boy. I don't think anyone ever really asked me why I didn't want a girl. They just accepted that I wanted a boy and that I was adamant that when the baby was born, it was going to have a penis.
I have a friend who also doesn't want to have any girls, she's having 3 boys. She already decided. I asked her why she doesn't want a girl. Her answer: Girls are catty and bitches and she doesn't want her daughter to have to deal with that. My reason: Boys are evil, they break hearts and don't care that they do. They lie and they cheat. I don't want to have to comfort my daughter when some asshole decides that she's not what he wants and breaks her heart. I was reading "Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea" and she stated something about not wanting a daughter either. I don't remember her reasoning now but I was just like "Wow, a lot of women feel this way." It's not that we wouldn't love her if we had her. It's just that we are loving her before she even exist and are trying to prevent her any pain.
I think we feel the way we do because we have had those things happen to us. My friend had to deal with drama filled girls that were bitchy and catty to her. I had to deal with asshole boys that broke my heart, over and over again. I'm sure that Chelsea Handler had to deal with whatever reason was.
I can't say that if I had had a son that he would never be heartbroken, or that he would never have any drama. I just feel like boys deal with it better. If they are mad at each other, they get in a fight and then drink some beer. If they get their heartbroken they just find someone new. Girls spread rumors and lie when they get mad at each other. Hell, they probably even steal your boyfriend. Then it's double heartbreak.
I did have a girl, there was no penis attached at birth. I love her more than anything. After carrying her and having her and now that she's here, I couldn't see myself with a little boy. I know everything happens for a reason, and there is a reason God gave me a little girl. For now I'm going to love her and hold her and worry about boys later. I'll probably be worse than her dad when it comes time for her to date. He says he'll have a shot gun, I'll just have my hand and bust his balls if he hurts my little girl.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Weeks 4, 5, 6, and 7
In the last month we have managed to get a stomach virus, colic, diaper rash and a cold. POOR BABY!!! It has been quite an adventure to say the least. She keeps getting sick and we're not exactly sure why. Maybe it's all those trips to Target. She definitely not in daycare so it isn't coming from there. The stomach virus was what she had at last posting. The puking was the end of it with the exception of her potentially getting diarrhea. I can't quite remember if she did or not.
Unfortunately as soon as that ended the crying fits/colic began. It was hard to believe that she had gas build up because all she does is fart, the little stinker. Dr. Singh gave us a recipe for Fennel Seed Tea, which is basically loose fennel seeds, water, and ginger. She takes that three times a day and seems to be doing well. Most crying fits are usually when shes really tired anymore. She also started sleeping through the night in the last month, she goes from about 12:30 to about 5:30/6. After that feeding and changing I can usually get her to sleep until 10.
The diaper rash came right before she got the cold. We think it was from the Pampers. I know, I know, it's from leaving her in a wet diaper too long but we don't leave her in it any longer now than we did then. Dr. Singh told us to use A & D and corn starch in her diapers. We tried that and nothing changed. I think it was because the corn starch wasn't sitting on the diaper it was falling in the little dry weave that Pampers has in it Swaddler brand diapers. Now, I'm not speaking bad of Pampers, I would still be buying them to this day if Maddy wasn't so darn sensitive. We took every pack of Pampers back and switched over to Huggies. Back to Maddy being sensitive, we had baby powder that was "pure" corn starch with the exception of the fragrance, so we tried using that to save money and the second we did, her rash got so much worse. Poor kid, extra sensitive to everything. The Huggies have worked well; along with ointment that we have to put on to prevent a yeast infection, with the exception of, if you don't put them on just right (snugly) they leak after a night of sleeping/peeing. Maddy has woken up a few times completely soaked below the waist.
The cold came on last week, during those nice few days we had here. Dr. Singh said it was from the snow melting and there being mold in the air. So much for "Fresh Air." She hasn't gotten better yet, but thankfully she isn't getting any worse. We're going to try using the humidifier tonight to see if that helps dry her out any. We have a warm mist one that is suppose to help with that...I think, I was looking at the box at the store of the one that I thought was ours, so I hope I was right. I was going there to buy those medicine things that you pour in, except after reading the back, we can't use those until she's two or we have our own bedroom. So hopefully Joe or I don't get a cold anytime soon.
Speaking of Joe. I'm trying to have patience with this man. I think he wasn't expecting a baby to be so much work, and heck, if she wasn't getting sick all the time she probably wouldn't be, but we get to be that lucky!! I'm hoping things get better, I keep planning my life like they will. We've been trying to find a new place because we, especially me, hate living where we currently do. It's not horrible, actually it would be quite nice, if it wasn't in the middle of nowhere or in Ypsi for that matter. We shall see what happens next..but for now I'm off to get some rest...
Unfortunately as soon as that ended the crying fits/colic began. It was hard to believe that she had gas build up because all she does is fart, the little stinker. Dr. Singh gave us a recipe for Fennel Seed Tea, which is basically loose fennel seeds, water, and ginger. She takes that three times a day and seems to be doing well. Most crying fits are usually when shes really tired anymore. She also started sleeping through the night in the last month, she goes from about 12:30 to about 5:30/6. After that feeding and changing I can usually get her to sleep until 10.
The diaper rash came right before she got the cold. We think it was from the Pampers. I know, I know, it's from leaving her in a wet diaper too long but we don't leave her in it any longer now than we did then. Dr. Singh told us to use A & D and corn starch in her diapers. We tried that and nothing changed. I think it was because the corn starch wasn't sitting on the diaper it was falling in the little dry weave that Pampers has in it Swaddler brand diapers. Now, I'm not speaking bad of Pampers, I would still be buying them to this day if Maddy wasn't so darn sensitive. We took every pack of Pampers back and switched over to Huggies. Back to Maddy being sensitive, we had baby powder that was "pure" corn starch with the exception of the fragrance, so we tried using that to save money and the second we did, her rash got so much worse. Poor kid, extra sensitive to everything. The Huggies have worked well; along with ointment that we have to put on to prevent a yeast infection, with the exception of, if you don't put them on just right (snugly) they leak after a night of sleeping/peeing. Maddy has woken up a few times completely soaked below the waist.
The cold came on last week, during those nice few days we had here. Dr. Singh said it was from the snow melting and there being mold in the air. So much for "Fresh Air." She hasn't gotten better yet, but thankfully she isn't getting any worse. We're going to try using the humidifier tonight to see if that helps dry her out any. We have a warm mist one that is suppose to help with that...I think, I was looking at the box at the store of the one that I thought was ours, so I hope I was right. I was going there to buy those medicine things that you pour in, except after reading the back, we can't use those until she's two or we have our own bedroom. So hopefully Joe or I don't get a cold anytime soon.
Speaking of Joe. I'm trying to have patience with this man. I think he wasn't expecting a baby to be so much work, and heck, if she wasn't getting sick all the time she probably wouldn't be, but we get to be that lucky!! I'm hoping things get better, I keep planning my life like they will. We've been trying to find a new place because we, especially me, hate living where we currently do. It's not horrible, actually it would be quite nice, if it wasn't in the middle of nowhere or in Ypsi for that matter. We shall see what happens next..but for now I'm off to get some rest...
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